Hope Planets

The power of silence is something to deal with sadness, to be quiet so as not to tell the sadness that fills you. And a curious thing is that sadness is stored in the lungs. So the strength of silence leads to weakness and collapse of the lungs. 

Coughing. Mucus. 

These are the symbols that signal what we are silent about. I was never more aware of how far I was from my dream than when I was standing next to her.

Tomorrow

Outcomes cannot be controlled, so what you are aiming for is somewhat paradoxical. Maybe with effort and persistence, they will materialize. And maybe not. The great judges have a plan, even if it is hard to understand. 

But what does work is the value of your pillars, because they are what really moves and maintains. Pillars have a reason, they are in you to make you better and keep you going through the storms. 

A family to take care of, among all ambitions, is the strongest.

Prayer

I have the right to be wrong and to be corrected. That's what Mazeta told me. Even though I don't see the effects of that right very well but, I believe he can give me that compassion of judgment. It's like a prayer to better understand that life is more livable, being small than seeking to be right or in control. Lately, I've been hurt and beaten. But it's also part of the game. I have a right to be wrong and to be corrected. It is a lesson and a mantra.

Mirror

There is a strange game where you can look through a copper mirror at an image of yourself from the past. and you can ask him what you would change about your life. This game was bought by the Mosca in a store of carnivorous plants and ventriloquist's dummies. Nobody wanted to play it, except me.

I looked at that reflection, which returned a very strange image of me that I didn't remember, and I asked him questions, thinking if it would help me find a meaning in the middle of the warm night of the soul. Superstitions, flowers.  He told me to ask about white roses arriving in the daytime; there I could tell better how fresh the arrivals were. I did not understand him, and he told me, very simply, it is only one way that everyone travels: exile and communication. What is your way?

And I kept thinking in a badly drawn circle that got lost. I only felt then that the mirror's answer; maybe it had to do with saying more about what I feel. even if that was not to the liking of many. I keep thinking about those answers.

Prosecution

I got a call from Nana; she was in pain because the loss of her dad had led her to think she didn't do enough for him. She told me she suspected medical malpractice. I just listened. But in essence, I could understand the tepid place of justice from where she was speaking to me. She was in pent-up rage, and so she seeks revenge, made up for doing what is right. I listened to her and told her that she has a free choice to make, but there is something complex and ineffective in her requests. but she is free. I thought, as is anyone who decides to take a poison, thinking that it will save her past.

I listened to her for a while longer, giving her what little empathy I could have for practice. and wished her good night.

What I thought was harder, but I don't intend to tell her. There is no need for so much cruelty, but this thought of justice that she has is a compensation for not dealing with the dismal of not having loved him so much in the last times of his life, maybe even of feeling overwhelmed to take care of the physical discomfort that illness and old age produce for so many months. Who can blame her? It's complicated, I know. But I also understand that there is an internal process for some in the matter of forgiving, letting go, and learning. I had a connection with what I experienced some years ago with my dad too, but I didn't seek revenge. Maybe because deep down I felt that he was liberated. He was always strong, and now he was strong in the immensity of the cosmos. As light and strength, he could travel to the pillars of creation.

What do I know? It is complex to lose the one who loved and cared for you. It is hard to grow up, and what is harder is to see those who were by your side die. Life is never the same again, and that is the purpose. You learn to see without certain colors and sounds the new life as you take your turn. qepd mr.  Long live and prosper.