Yuanfen

They tell me that then one morning I will wake up, and I will be able to say I am well. I just have to be patient. And accept these contradictory states.

I can feel bad and do good things. It's part of grieving and giving myself that compassion. 

I can be a good friend and feel bad

I can be a good worker and feel bad

I can play you cool music and feel bad

It's sappy. My sappy.

How I'm supposed to heal.

If I miss the voice of both. But you have to accept what I can't change like we all do.

Anyway.

Tomorrow is a new month, April again arrived and waiting for me. But it will never be the same again. There is a new awareness, a new longing for days two. A new emptiness in space. 

Yuanfen is a Chinese principle that defines those loves that were born predestined.