16/4/26
La cuerda difícil de asir
31/1/25
Enamorar
no es campo para lo seguro,
ni la libertad.
Amar es riesgo
al dolor,
Amar es rendirse a actuar
bajo fuerzas lejos de tu
control.
18/12/24
Beauty by my side
Peace be with me
Peace between you and me,
in the making of forgiving you, but not forgetting.
out of respect for me.
maybe then there will be respect for you, as you told me.
Congratulations.
29/11/23
real slow
28/11/23
la bataille des papillons
26/11/23
rainforest
She wants a garden.
29/6/23
Hello
On a winter night, I keep thinking of you, believing, and feeling. like a soft wave under the sonorous mantle, sounding 3 times, of the siren song, that could come out of a park that crosses the military avenue.
I feel you dancing in a hall, under the astral mirror, that led us to meet for the first time, and I impressed you that Wednesday of spring. dancing together, it's a strange memory. even today I still believe you were my destiny. but you broke our contact and then, you're far away from me. and for all the wrong reasons, my feeling feels close to thinking of you and bringing you into waves of magic and water, this winter night of the 29th.
29/4/23
prima camarada assoluta
desviste sin partes que esconder nuestros nombres
14/4/23
a song for a gothic
Forever and ever.
lalalalalalala lalalalalalalalala
7/4/23
fool understand
I am a place with a flood of water, full of poems
to go out and give me as a gift,
I'm behind you without knowing what to call you
wicked sorceress of the time of desires and nostalgia
and I cross curves of a dreary world
unaware that I loved you even though
You make me burst with your light, dancing angel
I become a prisoner of the stopped clouds and the supernova heat
I'm a carbon footprint in the dangerous terrain of your moles
two full moons around your lips, a beautiful abyss of flesh
30/11/22
Berlin wall
oh how much you can stay!
I will love you, but I will never speak to you again!
I feel if I am strong enough. dream magic.
I feel that if I really belong. dream magic.
30/8/22
Nothing hurts like you
I'm waiting to feel alright, dancing with tears in my eyes, dancing at my funeral.
5/7/22
Yelling blue
here, to help me, so do something
let me make, how to listen?
trying beautiful
I turn this up for you
the sweet color of sunshine, stars of my do.
6/4/22
Awareness
The few elements of our world were once just solutions to fears. So, in that case fire, water, wind, earth and ether bring the origin of my creation. Universes between my thoughts, heartbeats for my soul. Because ideas are what change lives, and that was the first idea that changed mine.
2/4/22
Hygge
Il s'agit d'une première tentative en français.
Cette phrase m'est venue ce matin. Nous ne sommes pas dans cette vie pour réussir, ni même pour être aimés. Nous sommes ici pour ÊTRE.
Et c'est ce qui compte. Avec l'espoir, avec la foi.
Aujourd'hui c'est un premier samedi 2 avril, sachant qu'elle existe, papillon beau et brillant bichota, mais elle n'est plus proche.
Et je termine ici.
I told some friends that starting April on Friday is a good time to make wishes from the heart. What I would wish for, is to find that path of actions toward building a meaningful life. That is achieved by aligning my values as compasses, like autumn songs to know what and who to say yes to and let go of the other.
Honestly, all the pain I go through and went through points to a transformation. My broken heart, my soul in scraps, the stitching of my skin, the shadow of death and rejection, and more heartache as it has led me to act to survive. Resolve the crisis, and keep resolving.
But, there must be closure.
I must try to build meaningful days, with actions that give meaning to my life. By me for me. Of course, there is still a long way to go, I must have patience and compassion.
But I can no longer be in a state of survival.
Because a life of merely surviving cannot be endured without falling into depression or suicide. So facing a sunny afternoon, the first Saturday of April, which is also day 02. The precise day of your birthday celebration. Great day of celebration even if I no longer see or speak to you.
I tell myself that I must be clear about what things are important to me.
And I think about the systemic.
I start from a triple idea. Pain and my shadow, it starts from three triggers. My individual responsibility, my family history, and the sick society.
And I want, I seek, to get out of the swamp of not doing things that are important to me. Life is also beautiful, also crying and confusion. That is the chorus for my funeral. It is BEING.
I am.
With questions, with significance to know my meaning and what matters to me. Enjoy.
I miss you mom, I learn to live without you, too.
I am.
I miss you Karrartev, I learn to live distanced and silent for you.
I am.
I will be.
And I don't want to give up, yet.
I am.
31/3/22
Yuanfen
19/1/22
Mariposa K
What happened in the next 24 hours, will remain in the privacy of the heavens inside a room.
I spare the long, tangled details, the music of dark tones, like those gothic and perreadoras songs you love, but two months later the dismal end has already materialized.
It hurts
Pain
Suffer
Cry
Staring at the sky as I drive, and a sad Beck song plays.
I think today of all the behaviors and mistakes that led from that high point of our intimacy to this immense ocean that today distances us and will not go away.
Because you told me enough, and that you don't want to have contact of any kind with me,
I became the bad guy in your story and our story.
Although I don't know why, maybe it's the planetary arrogance, that tells me that in March or April there maybe that unexpected miracle or blessing.
But I am adamant, today more than ever, I must work on my behavior, my mistakes, my particular way of ruining myself in relationships and I want, I decide, to be alone.
It hurts
Pain
Suffer
Cry
It's a road of ups and downs. I loved you like nobody else, and I drove me crazy for you, it's true. But as the good Jung says: "It is not possible to awaken to consciousness without pain. People are capable of doing anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own soul. No one becomes enlightened by fantasizing figures of light, but by making his darkness conscious."
I am very dark, maybe that's the real reason why my mother calls me black.
Oh, mom!!, that story is harder, but that will be for another time.
30/10/21
Kissing you infected
You know, this Thursday 28th I made a bet because I had many childish doubts. In a moment I could do as I always do, retrace my steps and keep myself in my familiar zone. But with the uncertainty of being under the silence, uncaused for all intents and purposes, and hidden among the bits and waves of electric space, I chose the movement of going near you to manifest. I traveled to a bench on the Residencial, in the dark heat of a night, at half-past nine o'clock. A straight pedestrian walkway, lights on round lampposts, many walking their pets. And I rained. I delivered with a great desire my honesty. I told you, little comrade, that you were a surprise of the fate of all my hearts because in a week you had led me to the temptation to dream the future, to imagine the light of day as a consequence of your smile, and that my ocean of life was asking your permission to bite you and kiss you. In the rarity of being lined paper with a grid, this city of rivers is the frame for you guapa infinita.
And my voice concludes that everything I did and everything to come is a contagion of loving and being loved. I heard you sincere, we are both in different spaces, you smile but you must rebuild, I seem ready, so, it won't happen today or soon. And a list of words behind words appears.