Mostrando las entradas con la etiqueta karrartev. Mostrar todas las entradas
Mostrando las entradas con la etiqueta karrartev. Mostrar todas las entradas

16/4/26

La cuerda difícil de asir

Para mí, sentir se trató de imaginar de repente, que en todo el curso de la historia del planeta, apareció una persona: cabello castaño, rostro pálido y lentes para miopía, que se hizo un portal y trampolín a una calidad de verdad vitalmente ancestral. Que por eones se ha transmitido como el hilo de Ariadna en medio del laberinto de vivir un presente empapado para el caos y lleno de contingencia. 

Y cuando dejé de asir tu hilo, el hilo, de pronto mi intimidad, la forma esencial de mi espíritu y mi cosmos, parece solo andar en un estado pequeño y desértico. Con el ritmo de una canción de soledad ontológica que solo puede transmitirse como regolito lunar, llenos de polvo, rocas, minerales más iones solares milenarios. Y es pegajosa, aspera, algo diabólica para entrar en los huecos imposibles de mis atuendos y mis poros.

Es de mañana para bailar, empobrecidos y enriquecidos, donde el óxido del que todos hablan es un techo que solo es un techo. Donde las direcciones cambian por una línea dorada, que marcará amigos y enemigos, para comprender que nadie estará más separado que nosotros. 

Una progresión, tú con mi verdad ancestral en tus ojos miopes, estás lejos, tanto que solo puedo verte en sueños. Yo también, cuando despierto ando escapando de multitudes. El techo quizá ya no está bien y debamos de vender nuestro pasado. Porque hay relaciones como la que vivimos que cambian completamente la forma profunda que conocemos la realidad, y ya pasamos el estado donde perdimos esa perspectiva. El hilo se transformó en cuerda, nosotros de íntimos amantes, a sombras de sueños.

31/1/25

Enamorar

La práctica del amor,
no es campo para lo seguro,
ni la libertad.
Amar es riesgo 
a perder,
al dolor, 
a la herida y herir.
Amar es rendirse a actuar
bajo fuerzas lejos de tu
control.
Amar es fuerza de
cambio y descontrol.

18/12/24

Beauty by my side

Peace be upon her
Peace be with me
Peace between you and me,
in the making of forgiving you, but not forgetting.
out of respect for me.
maybe then there will be respect for you, as you told me.
Congratulations.

29/11/23

real slow

Mon mémoire oublie beaucoup d'idées et de phrases, c'est une fragilité de la mémoire parce qu'elle veut me protéger de ne pas enregistrer le présent. C'est pourquoi j'oublie si fortement depuis 2022. Et je t'oublierai, j'oublierai le beau bleu, je ne me souviendrai pas de septembre et je ne me souviendrai pas de cette chambre du mercredi. J'oublierai enfin moi et j'oublierai que j'ai aimé chanter et tomber aux pieds de ta gracieuse danseuse.
beau quarante-deux!

28/11/23

la bataille des papillons

Why did I get so desperate to please you and see you again? 
I know that pushed you to not even consider smiling at me, or wrapping your pearly arms around my waist. 
I fell out of control on my way, but it was a choice to fight and strive for the sake of your love. 
I got a little too scared because, in honesty, I tell you that your love is neither an impossible storm of objections, nor the din of an avoidant attachment, or the injury of your traumatic romantic history. 
In plain, you did not love me, nor will you love me

A de amor, B de besos, C de cariño, Q de qulo. 
A veces sí, a veces no, a besos siempre.

26/11/23

rainforest

She wants a tree house,
She wants a garden. 
Pale moon, me and you, believe me tonight: you don't even mind the rain.

29/6/23

Hello

On a winter night, I keep thinking of you, believing, and feeling. like a soft wave under the sonorous mantle, sounding 3 times, of the siren song, that could come out of a park that crosses the military avenue.

I feel you dancing in a hall, under the astral mirror, that led us to meet for the first time, and I impressed you that Wednesday of spring.  dancing together, it's a strange memory. even today I still believe you were my destiny. but you broke our contact and then, you're far away from me. and for all the wrong reasons, my feeling feels close to thinking of you and bringing you into waves of magic and water, this winter night of the 29th.

29/4/23

prima camarada assoluta

el viento que forma las nubes
desviste sin partes que esconder nuestros nombres
atrayendo tu brillo de frágil corazón olé.
tus pies alados con tiempo y honestidad,
ya te llevaron cerca de la academia,
entrarás al fin, sí
¡feliz 29, día de la danza! tu danza, danza promesa.

14/4/23

a song for a gothic

I want to tell you Comrade Karrartev that there is a song in Japanese called A million miles away, which since January 2022 I have found and dedicated to you. It is since then on a binary journey through messages from others, conversations with new people, and links that someone will send you influenced by my unconscious command. I don't know how long it will take to reach you, but I pray that it will come to you and that you will know in some mystical way that I sent it to you. It was my farewell, my last love letter that inspired the last words I have written to you. 
Forever and ever.
lalalalalalala lalalalalalalalala

7/4/23

fool understand

Through the streets of Lima raining, I walk with a sound
I am a place with a flood of water, full of poems
to go out and give me as a gift,
I'm behind you without knowing what to call you
wicked sorceress of the time of desires and nostalgia
and I cross curves of a dreary world
unaware that I loved you even though 
I only told you that I liked you.
You make me burst with your light, dancing angel
I become a prisoner of the stopped clouds and the supernova heat
I'm a carbon footprint in the dangerous terrain of your moles
two full moons around your lips, a beautiful abyss of flesh
I am a foolish auction of love's rules,
the real truth, is parts of me bear your footprints of sounds and lights, 
today with infinite sadness and much power
I'm a Barbie girl, in a vampire world.

30/11/22

Berlin wall

I think of the exact point where I could be more human. I remember this bromance between two Hollywood actor pals, named Keanu and River, uneducated beings who defended nature, cats, and the kind and simple life. an example of the beauty of union in the face of the unpredictable ups and downs of living on a planet of chaos. A magical coincidence to counteract the impact of my fragility, like sentimental dreams between robots and malice. 

oh how much you can stay!

come back, come back, and give me that hug I'm waiting for so long!

the chemicals that constitute me. the chemistry that lies within me. they are both the magnet I possess between the appearance of sweet dreams and regenerative chocolate. 

like a hope, born of a child who wanted to understand the world, who wanted to meet someone and know so much about her and everything, but failed. I failed. in the midst of the astral strike. and I am left with the treasure of dreaming of you or thinking of you in silence, and watching the sky sounding like music. thinking that there is a shirt that can represent a beach, a pair of pants a Parisian park at night. a hat that is morning light in a hotel room that was paradise in the dawn hours.

I will love you, but I will never speak to you again!
I feel if I am strong enough. dream magic.

How much I pray that even if you never come back, you feel these words, and this energy comes.

I will love you, but I never speak to you again!

I feel that if I really belong. dream magic. 

They say it's 7 years you will carry my energy, there are 6 left until it dissolves me. with all the eternal love, seconds, and dreamlike ether. Gods of love, I believed them, I felt it. I met love, though she rejected me. Young comrade, under the sky of Russia and Japan.

30/8/22

Nothing hurts like you

The day I die, nobody came, what a shame. 
I'm waiting to feel alright, dancing with tears in my eyes, dancing at my funeral.
like others' crazy design, cymatics of my heart, your vibration, oh you, oscillating skin
push the air of my shine
inside you, get out of my eyes.
Cymatics from my game, you choose spades, I prefer hearts.
resonance of that precious moment, it was you, always you
I tried to forget you, pardon the voices in my head 
keen kisses behind you, under me,
guide me to sleep in the memories of oblivion, miss.

5/7/22

Yelling blue

everything you said breaks the Cycle
here, to help me, so do something
let me make, how to listen? 
trying beautiful
I turn this up for you
the sweet color of sunshine, stars of my do.

6/4/22

Awareness

To believe is to become!
The few elements of our world were once just solutions to fears. So, in that case fire, water, wind, earth and ether bring the origin of my creation. Universes between my thoughts, heartbeats for my soul. Because ideas are what change lives, and that was the first idea that changed mine.

2/4/22

Hygge

Il s'agit d'une première tentative en français.
Cette phrase m'est venue ce matin. Nous ne sommes pas dans cette vie pour réussir, ni même pour être aimés. Nous sommes ici pour ÊTRE.
Et c'est ce qui compte. Avec l'espoir, avec la foi. 
Aujourd'hui c'est un premier samedi 2 avril, sachant qu'elle existe, papillon beau et brillant bichota, mais elle n'est plus proche. 
Et je termine ici.

I told some friends that starting April on Friday is a good time to make wishes from the heart. What I would wish for, is to find that path of actions toward building a meaningful life. That is achieved by aligning my values as compasses, like autumn songs to know what and who to say yes to and let go of the other.
Honestly, all the pain I go through and went through points to a transformation.  My broken heart, my soul in scraps, the stitching of my skin, the shadow of death and rejection, and more heartache as it has led me to act to survive. Resolve the crisis, and keep resolving. 
But, there must be closure.
I must try to build meaningful days, with actions that give meaning to my life. By me for me. Of course, there is still a long way to go, I must have patience and compassion.
But I can no longer be in a state of survival.
Because a life of merely surviving cannot be endured without falling into depression or suicide. So facing a sunny afternoon, the first Saturday of April, which is also day 02. The precise day of your birthday celebration. Great day of celebration even if I no longer see or speak to you.
I tell myself that I must be clear about what things are important to me.
And I think about the systemic.
I start from a triple idea. Pain and my shadow, it starts from three triggers.  My individual responsibility, my family history, and the sick society.
And I want, I seek, to get out of the swamp of not doing things that are important to me. Life is also beautiful, also crying and confusion. That is the chorus for my funeral. It is BEING. 
I am.
With questions, with significance to know my meaning and what matters to me. Enjoy.
I miss you mom, I learn to live without you, too. 
I am.
I miss you Karrartev, I learn to live distanced and silent for you.
I am.
I will be.
And I don't want to give up, yet.
I am.

31/3/22

Yuanfen

They tell me that then one morning I will wake up, and I will be able to say I am well. I just have to be patient. And accept these contradictory states.
I can feel bad and do good things. It's part of grieving and giving myself that compassion. 
I can be a good friend and feel bad
I can be a good worker and feel bad
I can play you cool music and feel bad

It's sappy. My sappy.
How I'm supposed to heal.
If I miss the voice of both. But you have to accept what I can't change like we all do.
Anyway.
Tomorrow is a new month, April again arrived and waiting for me. But it will never be the same again. There is a new awareness, a new longing for days two. A new emptiness in space. 
Yuanfen is a Chinese principle that defines those loves that were born predestined.

19/1/22

Mariposa K

I proclaimed you my wife in a phone call, it was a bit rushed, like a heatwave, but in the middle of November, I could afford to finger the future with your hands and that silver ring you wear, even though you had already told me not to. I believed, I proclaimed. The power of the voice, the power of thought. 
What happened in the next 24 hours, will remain in the privacy of the heavens inside a room.
I spare the long, tangled details, the music of dark tones, like those gothic and perreadoras songs you love, but two months later the dismal end has already materialized.
It hurts
Pain
Suffer
Cry
Staring at the sky as I drive, and a sad Beck song plays.
I think today of all the behaviors and mistakes that led from that high point of our intimacy to this immense ocean that today distances us and will not go away.
Because you told me enough, and that you don't want to have contact of any kind with me,
I became the bad guy in your story and our story.
Although I don't know why, maybe it's the planetary arrogance, that tells me that in March or April there maybe that unexpected miracle or blessing.
But I am adamant, today more than ever, I must work on my behavior, my mistakes, my particular way of ruining myself in relationships and I want, I decide, to be alone.
It hurts
Pain
Suffer
Cry
It's a road of ups and downs. I loved you like nobody else, and I drove me crazy for you, it's true. But as the good Jung says: "It is not possible to awaken to consciousness without pain. People are capable of doing anything, no matter how absurd, to avoid facing their own soul. No one becomes enlightened by fantasizing figures of light, but by making his darkness conscious."
I am very dark, maybe that's the real reason why my mother calls me black.

Oh, mom!!, that story is harder, but that will be for another time.

30/10/21

Kissing you infected

I have an engine where my voice has glances for what is to come, I want to grasp the future where my vital song pretends to be a dance I offer you to cut the distance, and it moves like the flame of your two-syllable name. Time caught in breaths, moving the sound, facing to love, and seeking to be loved back. It costs a lot to say the verb to love, but perhaps the will of my emotions deserves to be helped by charity and mercy.

You know, this Thursday 28th I made a bet because I had many childish doubts. In a moment I could do as I always do, retrace my steps and keep myself in my familiar zone. But with the uncertainty of being under the silence, uncaused for all intents and purposes, and hidden among the bits and waves of electric space, I chose the movement of going near you to manifest. I traveled to a bench on the Residencial, in the dark heat of a night, at half-past nine o'clock. A straight pedestrian walkway, lights on round lampposts, many walking their pets. And I rained. I delivered with a great desire my honesty. I told you, little comrade, that you were a surprise of the fate of all my hearts because in a week you had led me to the temptation to dream the future, to imagine the light of day as a consequence of your smile, and that my ocean of life was asking your permission to bite you and kiss you. In the rarity of being lined paper with a grid, this city of rivers is the frame for you guapa infinita.

And my voice concludes that everything I did and everything to come is a contagion of loving and being loved. I heard you sincere, we are both in different spaces, you smile but you must rebuild, I seem ready, so, it won't happen today or soon. And a list of words behind words appears.
What do I have to tell you?

These are strange times, where immaterial socialism brings me a wild-haired comrade. And I rain to sprout as nature and life. I rain being me and for me, come what may, I'm on a great pinnacle to live, maybe I always have been. And loneliness is natural and a good song.

2/4/13

sacrificios

Los sacrificios solo tienen  sentido cuando son sagrados, y tienes la conciencia de que con ese acto estas cumpliendo una función que dejará un legado, algo sobre ti que cambiará el mundo.